Crazy life

Of course, this is not about anything crazy in my life, as I already have more than enough, and it might be too boring for you to read my story again actually. I sure don't want to scare off half of my potential readers by bringing more and more of my pathetic stories of my little life. Instead, what I'm trying to say in this post is it is okay to live crazily once in a while.

Life is short, and I don't have to explain about that, so why are we restraining ourselves from expressing who we really are? Sometimes, why don't we try to shout like hell when we're stressed; run through streets when we're happy; tell somebody I like you when we have the feeling; eat a whole bucket of fried chicken when we're hungry; skip some classes when we're tired; or just buy anything we like without thinking of the price? Of course I'm not saying we should do this everyday, or that will be really crazy, but releasing your true self just for some times, it wouldn't hurt. Just like what William Wallace said, every man dies, not every man really lives (quotes of the week). We are going to die someday, and if we can't do something to tell people who we are, what's the point of living? Worse is, we cannot even define who we are ourselves! So, go crazy once in a while, and reminisce some of your wacky parts of life and laugh for what you have done, and discover who you really are.

Living in a shell

Ever felt depressed that you even feel like you're worthless? Or just not better than anyone else? Or maybe have never done something good enough? Well, I've been through that a lot, and I can write four rolls of story about my depression and not mentioning the positive side, that's who I am if you want to know me, always the negative thinker. But, it doesn't mean I'm all black. There are still some bright sides of me that keep shining once a while. Okay, time to turn back to my topic.

It's been over a month I stay in my college, studying, going online, chatting, worrying about tests... So so ordinary, and boring. That's when the negative thinking comes in, cause there are still too many spaces in the brain are not being stimulated and they just won't go rusting like what other people say. Guess I have a good brain, then. Nobody wants to be just somebody, at least not at my age, and we all want to achieve something. We tried, we failed, and we tried again, and we failed again, and it goes on and on. It's that simple, but there are something called emotion that keeps things complicated. When we try, we expect something in return, and sometimes the hopes can be so high that we never think of failure. When we fail ( according to the process, if you succeed in just one try, then congrats), we are crushed that deep, that we never feel like trying again. Of course, some people have the strength to come up and try again, and of course, to be crushed again, till you feel like the all the energy and courage are being drained up dry, and you would never want to do it again. I believe I'm not the only one to go through this, many others do, and maybe a lot of people just haven't been crushed enough to give up, just yet. If you're like me, the one who is thinking of giving up, then my friend, at the end of the day, we're just another 'somebody'.

Beauty of the nature

Went to the beach today. This is the first time since I don't remember how long have I not been to any beaches. Been entrapped in the city for too long. This photo is the one I took when I saw the scene, I don't know what you think about it but I find it striking... doesn't sound right but couldn't find the word to describe the beauty of the beach. One thing for sure, the sea always is the right place to soothe your mind after a long strain in life. The second is the one I took from the mangrove swamp, can't wait to share with somebody, cause I just like it so so much. Hope to hear your feedback. (I'm not a professional so please don't pick on my photography skills...)

Tell me how?

There is a reason why some people prefer to do things alone, including staying alone, or at least have a room of their own. That's because if you have a partner, they could be annoying! Oh, I was talking about me.
Yes, this is another post of my annoying roommate, who can't seem to be bored making my life miserable (guess it's fun doing that, mentally torturing somebody...). As a civilized and educated modern citizen (me), I should be patient and bear with it. But the fact is, that won't work, and trust me, don't be soft against those who goes between your way, or you'll be the one writing this. We have to accept the fact that there are something we cannot make a change about, including teaching monkeys not to scream like a monkey. So, being desperately needing to get some rest, I stoned my emotion and talk to him to make him and his friends to keep their voices down at midnight. The reason? It's midnight! And there's somebody who needs to sleep! That was two days ago, and thankfully, I slept tight that night. I thought I finally successfully talked some senses into them! Then three red crosses appear like the ones in Britain's got talent and tell me: WRONG!
That's why people tell me not to let my guard down, because the so call 'sense' lasted for only a day, or more aptly a night. Yesterday, I woke up at 1.00 am and had to pretend sleeping when I heard four or five of them are talking and eating in the room. Oh man! Can't you guys go somewhere else and leave this poor boy alone? Seems like I need another approach to get some sleep, but how?

What fantasy does

Got this online, just thought better to have a pic

Who never has any fantasy? I myself have a lot. I used to think of being the richest and hottest bachelor in the world, the genius who gets a Phd just by writing a few amazing thesis, or being a sorcerer who conjures fire and water out of will (this is the result of playing too many computer games, so don't let your children play any if you don't want them to turn out like me), and sometimes I even have sex fantasy at night. Don't worry, I'm not going to write about sex fantasy, or maybe I should say "Sorry for disappointment, I'm not going to write about sex fantasy"?

Fantasy is important. Yes, it is. Don't judge me with this, or not yet before I finish explaining. Ever seen anyone daydreaming? Someone who has their eyes open wide but never know what happens right in front of them? Women might not understand that, but as a man, I can be sure every single man has this very frequently in their lives, unless they don't think. When I do that, I usually don't even know what I'm thinking, or sometimes, I'm fantasizing (not sure if this is the right word). It keeps me sober after that, no matter how tired I was, maybe it sorta filling my desire of becoming what I want to be, and content me with some kind of chemicals. Well, guess that's a question for biologists and psychologists.

Philosophy of happiness

My lecturer said something quite interesting today, and I personally find it profound actually. I forgot what made him say that, but he was trying to give us an example: when you see a bird on an electric cable, it might be enjoying its day or the weather, which makes it happy; but when one of you ( us ) is to be that bird, you will definitely not feel so, because you know the high voltage inside the cable can kill you anytime, even when your tiny little feet scratch out a "you don't even notice you have done so" hole. Why is that? You know what the bird doesn't.

It's true, sometimes it's better if we don't know something, but the human nature just makes it hard to do so. Maybe the God didn't know this when he created curiosity in us. In some occasion, doesn't know means doesn't care, which makes you happy too, because you don't have that much in your little mind to bug your little life. So, the conclusion is, to be happy is simple, that is, to be simple. Got that? Well, I don't, even I'm the one to say that. I just can't give up what I have to be simple. Yeah, that's human.

The concept of time

Think about this, how will you live your life if a day has only 20 hours? Will you do less, or choose to do things faster? In any case, how will you live your life if a day has 30 hours? Will you do more, or choose to do things slower? I believe in whichever way, I'll do things fast and more, that's how important time is to me. Of course, this is only my opinion, not for everyone, so if you choose to do things slower and less for a good reason, please stop reading this post.

Since my first day in university, or college for some, I observed a lot of behaviour, which in this post I'm talking about how people use their time. Take this as an example, if I have an hour before the next class, I will probably take some time checking my mailbox or any updates of news. Otherwise, I'll try to finish my reader digest before the end of the month, and account five minutes of the hour to walk to lecture halls. It seems is supposed to be so to me, but not some others. They don't take the hour doing something. Some of them will just wait outside the lecture hall staring at the wall for an hour, and some of them will talk talk talk and talk whenever they have the time ( I'm not saying chit-chatting isn't good, but why should we talk more than actually doing something?) The others, on the other hand, took a lot more time to walk to the halls, even though it is not supposed to be that long. Seriously, do you have to take a look around you every five seconds when you can be sure that the buildings look exactly the same? What a total waste of time!

Sure, we may as well enjoy our life to the fullest, but still, the pace of life should be fast, and this is the way to live our life to the fullest. What is the point of slowing down when you never walk fast? So, think about this again: how will you live your life if a day has only 20 hours? If a day has 30 hours?