It is always a mystery to me that why some families treat their son and daughter as friend, and willing to share things together; while some families treat their son and daughter like a boss and the employees. This always can be seen in the western families and the eastern families, and honestly i prefer former. My family is a typical chinese family, which means that they never treat me like a friend.
Obviously, chinese parents always have some ego inside of them, which cause them always have a gap between their son and themselves. They are very conservative, and always teach their kids to respect their elders, and this always came up very difficult when the youngers found out that the elders are wrong, and yet they to keep it as a secret as a sign of "respect". This is totally what i'm facing. I always have to keep my mouth shut so that i don't insult the elders, even though i'm right. What pissed me off the most is that sometimes i have to be blame even though i had never done anything wrong. For example, last time when i was in the living room with my family after meal, i start to play with my sister's son(about half year old), and my sister pull up a towel and accidetally drop the toy of my sister's son. She thought that i was the one who drop it because i was so close to it so she asked me to wash it. I knew she didn't know it's her fault to drop the toy, so i told her that she drop it, not me. Then, she said 'oh...', and my father suddenly raised his voice and said 'just do it when you are told to!', and my older brother added 'why should you talk so much even though she just asked you to do a thing?'. I was about to blow my head up at that moment! I was just trying to tell her that its not my fault and they all just blamed me for telling that!
Why the western people can be so nice to their son and daughter?
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Do you believe in God?
A few days ago my friend showed me a book that he is currently studying about, i don't quite remember the tittle but its about the stories and history of hindu.
I was quite shock that he is interesting in such thing, rather than games or celebrities, even though i knew that he is quite a boring guy, but i never think of a chinese to study something about the other religion. So we talk quite a bit of this and another friend of mine, who is a Indian join our conversation. When we were talking about something about God, my Indian friend asked me,"What do you think god is?" And without any hesitation i told him that god is actually something our ancestor created so that people have something to believe that they should do good thing, cause the God commanded it; at the same time, they should not do the bad thing cause God will punish them or get them into hell. That's what i think personally as a science student, cause i keep telling myself that these religion thing is just something not true, something human created and human believe in. And sometimes i think its kinda funny, cause human always believe that the God created them, while in fact they themselves created the God, that mean human created something to create them. But his answer turn up to be God is actually a picture human gave to the power of the universe, or cosmic power that human can't explain.
However, i found that most of the stories of the religion are quite interesting, and some of them have great wisdom behind. So i asked another Indian friend of mine, and i found out that there are a great connection between Buddha and Hindu.(In fact, Buddha originated from Hindu, and both are actually vegetarian) And as much as i found out, Taoism is very closely related to Buddha too. Indeed, most religion i knew is somehow connected from some stories. It seems like our ancestors had the same thinking. Isn't that amazing?
Today i start to realise that why do i care about these stuff? I'm a science student, a "science" student that study about the fact, not the myths. However, i seems like start to believe something i don't believe in.
I was quite shock that he is interesting in such thing, rather than games or celebrities, even though i knew that he is quite a boring guy, but i never think of a chinese to study something about the other religion. So we talk quite a bit of this and another friend of mine, who is a Indian join our conversation. When we were talking about something about God, my Indian friend asked me,"What do you think god is?" And without any hesitation i told him that god is actually something our ancestor created so that people have something to believe that they should do good thing, cause the God commanded it; at the same time, they should not do the bad thing cause God will punish them or get them into hell. That's what i think personally as a science student, cause i keep telling myself that these religion thing is just something not true, something human created and human believe in. And sometimes i think its kinda funny, cause human always believe that the God created them, while in fact they themselves created the God, that mean human created something to create them. But his answer turn up to be God is actually a picture human gave to the power of the universe, or cosmic power that human can't explain.
However, i found that most of the stories of the religion are quite interesting, and some of them have great wisdom behind. So i asked another Indian friend of mine, and i found out that there are a great connection between Buddha and Hindu.(In fact, Buddha originated from Hindu, and both are actually vegetarian) And as much as i found out, Taoism is very closely related to Buddha too. Indeed, most religion i knew is somehow connected from some stories. It seems like our ancestors had the same thinking. Isn't that amazing?
Today i start to realise that why do i care about these stuff? I'm a science student, a "science" student that study about the fact, not the myths. However, i seems like start to believe something i don't believe in.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
A rotten mind of world
A few days ago my uncle came by my house and had a conversation with my mom. I was sitting in front of my computer that time. After that, my mom called me to meet with my uncle and his son. After that she told me that his son will be staying with us in the future. My expression was a quite 'huh' ? Why? She is not surprised with my expression, so she told me that my uncle will be divorcing, so his son has to be staying with us because he will has no time to take care of him.
Why are they divorcing? That's what i asked when they go back. And i was quite shock when i was told that its because his wife has changed religion to Islam and ran away with another Islam, leaving them behind. What a pity child.
What the heck are they thinking now? I mean like my cousin before, who was married after she found that she is pregnant, they all don't consider about the consequences before doing something? They just get divorced without considering about their child? They don't have to take responsibility for their action?
What a rotten mind of world...
Why are they divorcing? That's what i asked when they go back. And i was quite shock when i was told that its because his wife has changed religion to Islam and ran away with another Islam, leaving them behind. What a pity child.
What the heck are they thinking now? I mean like my cousin before, who was married after she found that she is pregnant, they all don't consider about the consequences before doing something? They just get divorced without considering about their child? They don't have to take responsibility for their action?
What a rotten mind of world...
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The era is changing...2
One of my student ask me again if i can teach her again. This time i say no very directly, cause i don't want to be regretting again.
Please don't think that i'm very selfish or what, but i'm really disappointed enough. Why she don't concentrate more when i was still having the patient to teach her? If she don't want to study harder, why is she asking me to teach her again?
I'm really made up my mind now, and i know that i will not regret about that. So why won't she let me go? Just let me go, i'm really tired this time. Please don't blame me for this......
Please don't think that i'm very selfish or what, but i'm really disappointed enough. Why she don't concentrate more when i was still having the patient to teach her? If she don't want to study harder, why is she asking me to teach her again?
I'm really made up my mind now, and i know that i will not regret about that. So why won't she let me go? Just let me go, i'm really tired this time. Please don't blame me for this......
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The era is changing...
Before today, i was teaching two of my relatives tuition. It was almost half a year ago. One of them met me and asked whether i can teach them tuition or not? After a few minutes of consideration, i agreed to teach them cause i had just finished my SPM and still looking for part time job, so why don't i teach them even though its not very much i can earn, but at least that's better than doing nothing.
I teach them a lot of thing, include english, math, science, everything i know. Initially, i'd never think of what would happen to teach them, because they showed so much passion to study and improved themselves (in fact, they are quite weak in most of the subject). After that, i found that they just "wanted" to improve, but never take any action or think how to improve, maybe they do think about it, by asking me to teach them...? So, i took some tedious steps in teaching, by giving them lots and lots of homeworks because my teacher used that way to teached me as well, and the result came out satisfactory, so i think it might work, and it should work for them too. However, they finished none of those homeworks. Well, at least no one is completely done.
I started to be fed up by their behaviour that always look for my answer and never try harder to do it by their own. Since i am a very "patient" teacher, i taught them once a week, two hours each class, for six months. Till this afternoon, i decided to stop all these when one of them absent for the class.
What on earth are going on with the students nowadays? It seems like they are just like bean curd--too soft and cannot push too hard. They don't need to struggle very hard to learn something or to get knowledge, and yet they never appreciate it. In my time, we might broke our fingers just if we did a simple grammar mistake! My teacher taught me very strict and very well, and i had became a good student too! I think....
I teach them a lot of thing, include english, math, science, everything i know. Initially, i'd never think of what would happen to teach them, because they showed so much passion to study and improved themselves (in fact, they are quite weak in most of the subject). After that, i found that they just "wanted" to improve, but never take any action or think how to improve, maybe they do think about it, by asking me to teach them...? So, i took some tedious steps in teaching, by giving them lots and lots of homeworks because my teacher used that way to teached me as well, and the result came out satisfactory, so i think it might work, and it should work for them too. However, they finished none of those homeworks. Well, at least no one is completely done.
I started to be fed up by their behaviour that always look for my answer and never try harder to do it by their own. Since i am a very "patient" teacher, i taught them once a week, two hours each class, for six months. Till this afternoon, i decided to stop all these when one of them absent for the class.
What on earth are going on with the students nowadays? It seems like they are just like bean curd--too soft and cannot push too hard. They don't need to struggle very hard to learn something or to get knowledge, and yet they never appreciate it. In my time, we might broke our fingers just if we did a simple grammar mistake! My teacher taught me very strict and very well, and i had became a good student too! I think....
Sunday, October 5, 2008
A big regret
It's been a week of holiday, and i think i'm almost doing nothing in this week, and maybe what i did is just reading comics and surfing internet, even though i sweared i had to finish up the syllabus to catch up the school's progress, but it just seems like my mind is not strong enough to keep me study, rather than "enjoying" the holiday.
The weather of this week is not very good, extremely hot, maybe that's the reason why i can't concentrate on my revision? Studying under a sultry day? Who will be able to do that! And that's what i hate Malaysia the most--vagaries of weather! It seems just fine last week...But in fact i know i'm just trying to get an excuse.
I planned to study, but the output doesn't fit my goal; and i wanted to finish my bio project, but it is yet to be done...everything haven't finish yet though i planned to. I think that's what human knew very clearly yet they do it the most--regret...
The weather of this week is not very good, extremely hot, maybe that's the reason why i can't concentrate on my revision? Studying under a sultry day? Who will be able to do that! And that's what i hate Malaysia the most--vagaries of weather! It seems just fine last week...But in fact i know i'm just trying to get an excuse.
I planned to study, but the output doesn't fit my goal; and i wanted to finish my bio project, but it is yet to be done...everything haven't finish yet though i planned to. I think that's what human knew very clearly yet they do it the most--regret...
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Many roads diverge in a yellow wood...by Daniel Tan
Even though i'm in the stage of aiming my goal and do my best to achieve it, but recently i feel that i don't really know what my aim is, and i don't know what i wanted for. All these years i struggle and struggle for a good result, because what i know is i don't like sport, and i'm not a good competitor. If i can't do well in my academy, i am just nothing. I'm unlike the others, i can't run very fast, i cant fight very well, i can't sing very nice, i can't speak very fluent, and all i can do is just study to score a point that can make the others to notice me, and thats what i wanted for. That is the philosophy i learnt when i was in form 2.
But it just can't satisfy me well enough. And a good student seems to be tagged at me forever. I don't know what will the others think about me if i can't even study well. I can't be an athlete, i'm not that strong; i can't be an artist, i'm not that talented; i can't be a businessman, i'm have no managing skills.
What am i going to do if i can't study anymore? I don't know what can i do after study. Initially, i think its good to be a pharmacist because my teacher said so, and after that i think i should be a doctor because i can earn a good amount of money, but my cousin said i should consider about accounting, cause its very demanding nowadays, and my sister said why don't you try to be ophthamologist? Those all are just screwing up my mind.
What can i be? What should i be? I don't really know what am i interesting in, cause i just study to keep me study!
But it just can't satisfy me well enough. And a good student seems to be tagged at me forever. I don't know what will the others think about me if i can't even study well. I can't be an athlete, i'm not that strong; i can't be an artist, i'm not that talented; i can't be a businessman, i'm have no managing skills.
What am i going to do if i can't study anymore? I don't know what can i do after study. Initially, i think its good to be a pharmacist because my teacher said so, and after that i think i should be a doctor because i can earn a good amount of money, but my cousin said i should consider about accounting, cause its very demanding nowadays, and my sister said why don't you try to be ophthamologist? Those all are just screwing up my mind.
What can i be? What should i be? I don't really know what am i interesting in, cause i just study to keep me study!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
My dreadest fear
I dream to travel the whole world, listening to different language, seeing different buildings, meeting different people, eating different food, feeling different weather, since i was a little boy. And this dream has never fade, and it never will. That is the reason i came up with an idea to study abroad. This was almost a part of my life planning and thinking how to achieve it.
Since my family isn't rich, not rich enough to get me to the other countries, and in fact i had a hard time to get my pre-university education, cause the amount of collge fee is quite......tremendous to me. That is why i was trying to get the scholarship from the government so that i can get to study abroad, even though i have to spend a few years for the housemanship. However, it just crushed when i failed the interview, and i was quite astonished when i found that i had also been rejected by the local matriculation programme! I wonder is it because of the political problem or just because i'm not good enough? It hurted me more when the others around me got it, while i'm the "rejected".
It maybe is not a very bad news, and i console myself to struggle harder in form 6 so that i can get one more chance for the scholarship. The last chance, that's what i'm fear about. It just feels like i am risking all i've got in a gambling and now i'm afraid to open the number of the die i've got. But lately i've been thinking is it worth? Will it worth? Or maybe i'll just get disappointed again after years of hardwork? I am so afraid that i'll be rejected again...
Can i accept the result years after? I've been "rejected" too many times, i don't know if i can accept it again. If, the bad thing really happens, is it means that i have been wasting years of time on it? Maybe i was just longing for something impossible to me...
Since my family isn't rich, not rich enough to get me to the other countries, and in fact i had a hard time to get my pre-university education, cause the amount of collge fee is quite......tremendous to me. That is why i was trying to get the scholarship from the government so that i can get to study abroad, even though i have to spend a few years for the housemanship. However, it just crushed when i failed the interview, and i was quite astonished when i found that i had also been rejected by the local matriculation programme! I wonder is it because of the political problem or just because i'm not good enough? It hurted me more when the others around me got it, while i'm the "rejected".
It maybe is not a very bad news, and i console myself to struggle harder in form 6 so that i can get one more chance for the scholarship. The last chance, that's what i'm fear about. It just feels like i am risking all i've got in a gambling and now i'm afraid to open the number of the die i've got. But lately i've been thinking is it worth? Will it worth? Or maybe i'll just get disappointed again after years of hardwork? I am so afraid that i'll be rejected again...
Can i accept the result years after? I've been "rejected" too many times, i don't know if i can accept it again. If, the bad thing really happens, is it means that i have been wasting years of time on it? Maybe i was just longing for something impossible to me...
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