I dream to travel the whole world, listening to different language, seeing different buildings, meeting different people, eating different food, feeling different weather, since i was a little boy. And this dream has never fade, and it never will. That is the reason i came up with an idea to study abroad. This was almost a part of my life planning and thinking how to achieve it.
Since my family isn't rich, not rich enough to get me to the other countries, and in fact i had a hard time to get my pre-university education, cause the amount of collge fee is quite......tremendous to me. That is why i was trying to get the scholarship from the government so that i can get to study abroad, even though i have to spend a few years for the housemanship. However, it just crushed when i failed the interview, and i was quite astonished when i found that i had also been rejected by the local matriculation programme! I wonder is it because of the political problem or just because i'm not good enough? It hurted me more when the others around me got it, while i'm the "rejected".
It maybe is not a very bad news, and i console myself to struggle harder in form 6 so that i can get one more chance for the scholarship. The last chance, that's what i'm fear about. It just feels like i am risking all i've got in a gambling and now i'm afraid to open the number of the die i've got. But lately i've been thinking is it worth? Will it worth? Or maybe i'll just get disappointed again after years of hardwork? I am so afraid that i'll be rejected again...
Can i accept the result years after? I've been "rejected" too many times, i don't know if i can accept it again. If, the bad thing really happens, is it means that i have been wasting years of time on it? Maybe i was just longing for something impossible to me...
2 comments:
Do you know i am so happy today?What make me feel so happy today?It is not because i had solved my family problem but i realize a important thing in my life.My aunt came to my house just now and i got a important message from her.She tell me that she went to attend a campaign for five days.What did she tell me is your own viewpoint.In the world,there are many incident which can make us to face the problem bravely as if you change your viewpoint.After you don't think that you are longing for something impossible to happen,but you are experiencing your fate in your life.As a saying goes,let bygones be bygones,what you can only do now is accept this fact but don't give up to achieve your goal.Maybe you will get disappoint again after form 6 result comes out.Even you are gambling and taking risk now,but i want to ask you,"are our lives does not taking any risk before we are trying to do new thing?"Try to stand at different viewpoint,what you think and how is your feeling is totally different.Thank you for voting for my question at my blogs.Failure is not a big problem but you must know how you can pick yourself up again to face our fate.
don't know what to say... you are just another unlucky person... or i should say victim...
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